The "inner dialogue" is something that costs many of my coachees and training participants energy and time. By inner dialogue I mean these two voices within us that are debating with each other. One voice represents the calm, deliberate, relaxed and usually "healthy" voice within us. The other voice communicates our fears and insecurities and often causes stress within us. Becoming aware of these two voices can help to reduce inner conflict and help you make faster, but also in the long run more satisfied decisions.
To learn more about the inner dialogue you can watch my 60 seconds video (in English) and read this blog post.
Inner Dialogue
We all have these two voices within us that influence us differently. An important and very helpful step is to become aware of these voices and to specifically choose the voice you want to follow. Often we are convinced that we need to pay attention to this second voice that shares fears and insecurities. We believe that we must limit all possible mistakes and pitfalls. A classic example that leaders share in my coaching sessions is that they can't switch off in the evening. The one inner voice tells them how many tasks are still waiting and that they can't close their laptop or put their pencil aside just yet. This voice motivates perfectionist thinking. Thoughts like the following one become dominant: "I can do this better and faster, that's why I don't give up this task".
When thoughts like this one take over and they often tempt us to feel that we have to give everything or choose the difficult or more complicated approach. But we don't always have to: It's perfectly fine, and often healthier, to choose the easier way sometimes! Coming back to the example above, one can also listen to the other inner voice that conveys: "When others work on this task more often they can learn. Each time they do it, they get faster and better."
Not selfish but Healthy
There is this belief that it is selfish and not very ambitious to choose an easier or uncomplicated path. Many leaders think that they always have to give their best. Therefore, in my coaching sessions or team trainings, we also work to bring about a change in thinking.
The idea is to get away from the belief "I cannot make it easy for myself, I have to always give 110%". Instead one should think: "It's okay to listen to my sunny inner voice. It's ok to apply this quick but effective, even if not perfect, solution". For healthy and efficient leadership and communication, it is sometimes necessary to make decisions that make your life easier. In everyday leadership there are often moments when things are complicated, difficult and stressful and there is no easy solution. That is why you should also allow yourself to choose to listen to your calm voice and choose the easy solution when the situation allows it. This has nothing to do with egoism, but helps you to make decisions faster, to have more inner peace and to manage tasks better.
Reflection
There are effective methods and tools that you can learn to deal with this inner dialogue consciously and successfully. For this you should find out (gladly also with my support) what works for you. Once you have these tools at your side, you will soon notice in everyday life that you will make new decisions faster and with more confidence. You will see what a relief and enrichment this will be for you.
If you are interested in talking with me about your inner dialogue and would like to develop effective tools that work for you, feel free to book a free initial meeting in my calendar at the top of the website.
I hope this post can help you with your next inner dialogue. You can find more inspiration in other blog posts and on my LinkedIn page.